


Where's My Love

by STFC00kie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 12:56:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13858215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STFC00kie/pseuds/STFC00kie
Summary: Night before the wedding Alec finds his mind drifting to Magnus.He tries to distract his mind from him, but only made it worse for himself.When the wedding finally comes and Magnus shows. He realizes Where is love is.*Short little story following the TV show, with my own little smut thrown in there!*





	Where's My Love

I sighed swiping a hand through my thick brown locks. Night before my own wedding, and the only thing that was sitting in the pit of my stomach was the thought of Magnus. Jace was trying to cheer me up during Izzy's try for a bachelor party, but here I was. Succumbing to the  horrible regret that was swelling in my stomach. The look in his eyes when I yelled at him, calling what he was doing a joke. I knew it wasn't I knew what he felt was real, and for some sick reason I felt it to. Yet still I pushed him away, I wouldn't be surprised if I never saw him again, unless business related. 

"Man are you okay?" Jace's voice pulled me out of my sluggish thoughts, I raised my brow trying to processes what he said.

"Yeah, just..." I couldn't say it, because all I wanted to say was 'regretful, I don't want to do this, please convince me not to do this'. But instead I sighed and shrugged. 

"Cold feet?" He questioned smiling slightly. I wanted to scream yes, and go running back to Magnus apologizing for hurting him so deeply.

"Nah man, just nervous." I half smiled. He nodded pushing the beer to his lips, I watched his Adams apple bob when he swallowed the throat sticking liquid. I looked to my hands and rubbed them together, 

"Listen, you can head back up to your room? Get some beauty sleep before the big day, looks like you need it." He said smirking. I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head, I knew he was teasing, but I did desperately need it. Sleeping hasn't come easy ever since I yelled. I stood from my awkward seated position. I was about to start grabbing the empty bottles but Jace quickly stopped me. "Hey no I got this get going," I didn't hesitate nodding and walked toward the exit. "Hey buddy?" I stopped just before the door, not bothering to turn around, You know, I'm here no matter your choices tomorrow, yea?" I frowned a tad his words.

"Yeah I know, thanks," I said quietly back then left.

When I got back into my bedroom, I flopped head first into the bed. My mind began to wander again, to Magnus. The way his body moved smoothly and how it might look under all of that clothing he always seemed to wear. I groaned feeling a stir in my lower stomach, that I usually pushed away. However, an idea hit my brain, maybe if I.. touched myself to the thought of Lydia, I could actually maybe, grow to enjoy her, in a more intimate way. We are going to have to eventually procreate. My brain instantly rejected the idea, however my groin grew in excitement to actually being touched. As it did not  happen often.

Taking a deep breath, my body has decided for me, so I stood checking to make sure that my room door was locked and walked toward the bed slowly shedding clothing. Laying down shirtless and pants less, my body reacted to the sudden attention. Taking another deepened breath, I placed my rough hand onto my chest and closed my eyes. Trying my best to picture Lydia's large beautiful blue eyes, and her hair and how I liked it high and in a tight pony tail. Slowly I allowed my hand to travel down my body, but my stomach wasn't twisting the way it should.

I tried to think about her touching me, just to be seductive. How her small gentle hands would take hold of my own and lead me to the bed. How she would look beautiful in a tight black lacy outfit, with her hair still up. How she would lay me down and track those gentle hands down my chest like I was doing. How her hands might even feel like Magnus's, his are probably incredibly soft, and gentle toward me. Knowing I'd be nervous he would take it slow kissing gently down my neck and. Wait! When did my mind get onto him?! and Why the hell was my body reacting more to him then her. "Fuck," I hissed opening my eyes, I gotta try again at least one more time, maybe speed it up a bit.

Sighing I shrugged off my underwear, closed my eyes and tracked my hand quicker down my body. Lydia, Lydia, Lydia, damn how her lips would look around my cock. I cringed at my own vulgar thoughts, feeling almost sicked in myself for even thinking them. But I pushed through the feeling knowing that desiring this feeling was normal. I wrapped my hand around my hardening member and shuddered instantly. I knew just by the pleasure that had taken over my body that this would be quick. My forced my mind back onto Lydia, how her, breasts would look. She was a - is a beautiful women, fuller in the right places. I quickened my pace, as I imaged her whispering things into my ear breathy, and deep voiced. I shuddered how his words always seemed to tickle my senses when he was close, the mere smell of his cologne drove me crazy. My cock twitched at the thought of him pressing himself against me, his groan rubbing into mine. How whenever he got close all I wanted to do was press him hard against a wall and capture his lips in mine. How quickly I'd want to discard his clothing just to see his long, lean, strong body and how it would flex. How badly I wanted to to feel his fingers push into my hair, and how badly I wanted to put mine into his. 

I groaned and felt my body heat up, I could tell I was getting close. My body begged to even be touched by him, hell to touch him. To know how he felt, and how he liked to be touched. His weak spots that would make his body shudder, wanting me just as much as I wanted him. I moaned gently my body began to twitch, building up.  Fuck I wanted him, I wanted him calling my name, calling me 'Alexander' like he did constantly. How it would feel having his mouth on my body, how it would to have him kiss me, to suck and bite his way down me. Till he reached my cock, I'd look down and see his dark eyes mischievously looking up at me, a smirk formed on his lips, then I'd be sucked into his mouth. He work me until I couldn't take it. Till my toes curled, then hes stop just as I was on the edge, then hes kiss back up my body. Driving me to loose my cool and flip us, his gently laugh and the sound of the bed would be the only sound heard. I'd want to tease him back, so I'd kiss his neck suck on it, that's what people did right? I'd kiss down his throat, down his chest. Making sure to bring my attention to his nipples but only teasing them with a gentle kiss then moving on. I'd make it to his underwear line and drape my hand lightly over top of his hardening member, making him beg to be touched. Id happily oblige, taking hold of his underwear with my teeth and pulling them down slowly. Then I'd see his hardened cock spring out from his underwear and onto his stomach.

I shuddered and came hard. My body convulsed and my toes knitted tightly, 'Magnus' I breathed out riding the way of euphoric hormones. I opened my eyes and smiled down at myself, but quickly cringed seeing the white substance that was now sprayed all up my stomach. I began cleaning up, that had been the hardest I had came ever. I haven't done it much but I'm glad that she-. That's when it hit me, that the orgasm wasn't for her, that my brain had wandered once again to the man I tried so hard to not think about. I hissed vulgarity to myself as I completed the clean up job. 

I quickly dressed and huffed down onto the bed, frowning and staring at the ceiling. What was I doing? Why was I marrying her? For The Clave? For my parents? For myself? Groaning I turned over and desperately tries to sleep. Tomorrow, was a big day, I needed my beauty sleep. So that I could  make the decision that would lead to the.. Happiness of the rest of my life.

I couldn't breathe when I woke to Izzy's voice. It was like the world was on my chest screaming at me for what I was doing. I could tell Izzy knew what was going through my head, but she didn't dare say anything. When I stared into the mirror, fixing my tie, I could see her sad eyes behind me. "You know you don't have to do this right?"  her words whisked through my mind, making eye contact, it was easy to see what she was implying  to. I kept a stone cold look on my face,

"Of course I do," I said tightening my tie some more feeling it put some restriction on my throat.

"No, you don't and cut it out you're going to chock yourself. And well wouldn't that be a way out? Don't think Magnus would like much." She rambled,

"Enough, I'm going through with this. You should probably go check on Lydia." I hissed turning sharply and leaving my bedroom. I quickly made my way to the hall, I grumbled 'hellos' to people who had begun coming in. And after getting the pep talk of a life time from my mother I couldn't think straight. Jace's soft sympathetic eyes couldn't even keep the anxiety that was building in my stomach, and everything just became static. 

When the wedding began and I saw my beautiful sister, it was like a fairy tale was going on in my head. The beautiful setting, friends and family surrounding me, happy, finally getting what I wanted. Except it wasn't because instead of seeing him turn into the hall, Lydia did. Don't get me wrong, she looked stunning, her dress held her perfectly, her hair was straight out of a princess book. Yet here I was unable to think straight, trying desperately to listen but I just couldn't. It felt as if I was simply just going through the motions, 

Then I heard a door, I quickly turned my head, I stared at the entrance. Hoping, wishing dreaming to see him. I knew Lydia gave up and looked back, but just as she did, he walked in. And there he stood, the man I desired so deeply.

I heard my mother hiss something but everything was blurred out and only the sight of him was registering in my brain. His eyes were locked on mine as my mother walked by him, he answered what ever she said, but it didn't seem to stop his pursuit into the room. I seriously couldn't breathe, my stomach was floating and excitingly swirling. Butterflies were taking over my heart and mind and I just couldn't think. 

"You going to be okay buddy?" Jace's words cut through my mind, slightly reminding me where I was. 

"Hey...?" My eyes were ripped away from the man I was desperate for, and locked with my beautiful bride. Yet, my stomach only became worse. I chocked on my own breath, "Hi," She smiled widely.

"I can't breathe," I horsed out, she smiled slightly and spoke, but I didn't quite hear it over the buzzing in my ears. "I can't do this,I thought I was doing the right thing" I hissed out.  I could see her eyes drop in excitement and her smile falter. "But this isn't it," I felt out of breath, and just plain and simply horrible. 

"You don;t have to explain," Her eyes filled with confidence, 

"I'm sorry." She smiled slightly lifting her hand to my face. Memories of her passed husband took hold of my heart, only making me feel worse.

"You deserve to be happy," I smiled slightly, but it wasn't confident, "I'll be fine," she insisted. I could see through it, it but the amount of pressure lifted from me only helped my decision. 

I turned toward the crowd, some faces were filled with confusion, some were almost happy. But my eyes locked with the man in front of me. The man I had desired so profoundly, since he made an effort to simply know my name. It was like fireworks shot up and all my brain could do was be locked on him. And here he was, after all of the horrible things I had said, all of the pushing away and lies I had ripped through him. He still stood here, showing my just how much he cared, just how much he wanted me to. 

Slowly I stepped down from the podium, not breaking eye contact. His eyes didn't show much, just determination. So that's the face I put on, I began walked toward him, and that's when his eyes shifted only slightly. A look of excitement and bewilderment stroke through them but was gone just as fast as it had appeared. My mother began walked toward me,

"Alec what are you -"

"Enough." I grounded finishing my walked toward him. Then I grabbed his collar and pulled him close, pressing my lips against his. It was a feeling I had desired so incredibly for the last feel weeks that it made me weak on my legs.

I kept a firm grip on his suit jacket pulling away slightly. He lips chased mine but he opened his eyes. It just a split second, but I could see what he was feeling, every god damn emotion written into one look. Happy, pure happy. I pressed my lips back against his letting myself feel for just a little bit long, before having to hear the consequences. 

Yet, no matter the consequence, It felt right. For the first time in my life, I had made a decision, before calculation, I had made a decisions, without thinking about it. I made a decision for me. And It felt amazing.


End file.
